On Saturday, I was in the presence of the great Nikki Giovanni. She was at Women and Children First bookstore in Andersonville promoting her new children’s books, Lincoln and Douglass, and Hip Hop Speaks to Children. I had this reading on my calendar for weeks. So excited.
I thought, how great will it be to expose AB to such a great artist at such an early age. I am such a culture mother. Yet, it was a disaster. I was too ambitious. Granted AB had been at a birthday party half an hour earlier where I had allowed her to run around like a banshee. She repeatedly climbed on the stage when Ms. Giovanni was talking. Eventually she settled in a corner that had toys. The final straw was when she attempted to climb on a bookshelf to get to the new Charlie and Lola book. I had to climb on stage grab her and walk on the store with her wailing at the top of her lungs. I was so angry and humiliated that I was on the verge of tears. I finally lost it in the alley around the corner from the store as I frantically called my family members, desperate to talk to someone.
I felt like a total failure as a parent. I was beyond mortified.
But Ms. Giovanni did not let me down. She was incredibly gracious and kind. She expressed sadness that we had to leave. (AB was the only child of color there.) When AB was first getting fidgety, Ms. Giovanni said that it would be okay for her to go up on the stage and stay there while she spoke. But her kindness increased my humiliation. I just kept thinking, “How could such a thing happen in front of such a awesome person?”
However, the incident was a long time coming over the course of the week, as I felt my temper getting shorter and my stress level rising. Combine this with her skipped nap and we were a walking powder keg.
This was a lesson learned. I have visions of AB growing into a great strong, amazing, and intelligent woman and how embarassed she will be when I tell the story of our first encounter with Ms. Giovanni. But we shall redeem ourselves. No worries.
