Schooling While Mothering.

I never dreaded returning to school. I never longed for the summer to be eternal. I was always very excited. New clothes, new supplies, new classes. The sweetness of the promise that this could be The Year.

AB was promoted to the next level of classes and she has been over the moon because now she is with the Big Kids. I’m jealous of her eagerness. The eagerness to learn, to do something new, to play. Her inquisitive nature has grown exponentially. She wants to know why things are they way they are. Why leaves are on the ground, why the moon is in the sky, why there is a fence around the grass, why that woman’s hair is pink…why, why, why? I do pretty well at first, but there is always another “why” waiting for me, so I eventually I must concede, “Well, I’m not really sure.” I have yet to reach the point of exasperation with all these whys because I find it fascinating.

All this leads me caused me to reevaluate my approach to law school as this past year was quite haphazard. I fluctuated between approaching it like a job then trying to be like the other students and it just plain did not work. I was left exhausted and frustrated. However, I did learn some valuable lessons that I’ve been able to implement this year which have made for a much smoother ride on this road called Schooling While Mothering.

1. Plan as if your life depended on it (because frankly, it does). Others may see you as anal or foolish, but your sanity depends on your life running like a well-oiled machine. Plus, if you have a routine down, then life’s hiccups (i.e. sick kid) will be much more manageable.

2. Carve out quality time for you just and the kiddo. I find that dinnertime and bedtime are the easiest ones during the week. While the weekend is precious study time make sure to set aside a few hours on Saturday and Sunday to take kiddo to the park, zoo or library. I mean, how often does kiddo get to hang out with you while the sun it out? It’s more quality time and it gets them tuckered out enough for their naps which gives you more productive study time…or procrastination time in which you veg out because you have managed to tucker yourself out as well.

3. Get up early and go to bed late. Acknowledge that coffee is your drug of choice and forever will be until you kids are at least 30 years old. I have come to believe that as long as there is a being in the world who calls you “Mom” or any variation of it, you will never get any rest.

4. Incorporate kiddo into study time at least once a week. There will be times when you just have to get some work down around the kiddo. To prevent pulling one’s hair out from all the interruptions, set up kiddo with some sort of activity and impress upon them the importance of that activity (i.e. ask them to draw the best dinosaur then can or fill the paper with as many squares as they can.) This will get you at least a good 10 to 15 minutes of uninterrupted studying.

5. Make time for you and take one night off a week. Turn off your brain. Watch or read something that requires as little thought as possible. Guilty pleasure it up to your heart’s content. Yes, that means go ahead and read/watch Twilight (even though you know you are to daggone old and the writing/acting is far from impressive) and eat that entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream (even though it way too expensive and totally unhealthy).

Bottom line: It’s only mothering…it’s not like your running a country or anything. (At least that’s what I keep telling myself.)

Back to School Bust.

AB’s first Back to School Night was the evening. My expectations were way to high. Then I got there and was very underwhelmed. There was an activity and ice cream.

My suspicions were confirmed however, that my kid is the tattletale of the group. She holds a grudge and hates when others don’t follow the rules. Her teacher told me that she is always the first to let her know when someone is doing something they shouldn’t be doing, but apparently this is a good thing because she is using her words. Mmmhmm. She still talks about how my dad ate the last of her ice cream at a rest stop on our drive out here two months ago!  Out of the blue she will look at me and say in a very hurt voice, “Grandpa ate my ice cream.”

The new refrain is the result of a bossy girl at the bookstore on Saturday who took Annabelle’s seat toward the end of storytime. AB’s behind was still half on the chair when the other little one decided that she was going to help AB along by gently pushing her out of it. When confronted by other kids, AB tends to freeze up and stare at the other kid like they have sprouted a second head.  We were getting ready to leave anyway, so I didn’t make a big deal of it. Yet, the incident has stuck with her. Since then she has mentioned it to me about a dozen times. Tonight, before she fell asleep she told me, “The girl took my chair.” 

Now when she first started talking about it Saturday afternoon, I had a total parenting moment where I explained that it wasn’t very nice of the girl to take Annabelle’s chair and that next time she should say, “Please don’t take my chair.” It’s all about the manners, folks.  You gotta start young. So now when she tells me about the girl taking her chair half the time she adds, “And I say, ‘Please don’t take my chair.”

Now if only I can get her to stop picking her nose and eating it…

Crisis #1.

The kid and I have been in the swing of our new schools and life for about a week now. And of course on this anniversery of sorts, something has to go completely and utterly wrong.

AB hit a fever of 102 degrees yesterday at lunchtime.  I missed the calls. The crazy, yet ingenious, thing about law school is that they have lockers. I had left my bag (with my phone) in my locker. Therefore, I did not have it with me during my classes and missed the crucial call about my child getting sick. This led the school to call all the numbers on th emergency list in order to get a hold of me, including the law school! Now I look like an incompetent parent.

To add insult to injury, AB has to stay out of school for at least one day. Are you kidding me? My first assignment is due today and I have a mandatory class! I had no backup plan for such a case of a sick child. Give me a break, it’s only been a week. I was on the verge of tears as I carried my hot and whiny child to the subway. I realized how utterly alone we were in this city. 

Thankfully, my aunt lives in a southern suburb and was able to come to get her and watch her for today. I am longing for my previous childcare situation. She would have given AB some Tylenol and continued on. But I guess this is the real world. Your kid gets sick from being at the school around the other kids and then gets banished.

Therefore, our cherry has been popped.  Crisis #1 is under our belt. Things should go smoothly from now on, right?

We’re Here…

and I’m exhausted, yet wide awake. For the second night in a row. 

So the kid, my dad and I made the ridiculously long trek to Chicago in a rented SUV and arrived yesterday evening. I now sit on the floor of my new apartment surrounded by boxes, suitcases, my sleeping kid and my sleeping dad, typing away on my brand new laptop (woohoo!) feeling completely overwhelmed and in over my head.  And I haven’t even started school yet. Boo-hiss.

Today was a shopping spree for the apartment, which would have been a lot of fun had I not been the one paying for it. My pockets are a lot lighter, my friends. My sleeper sofa does not arrive until next Saturday, therefore this fabulous hardwood floor and I have become fast friends.

AB appears to be…adjusting.  The tantrums are a bit more frequent and her schedule is completely off. Of course, I am the one who is supposed to set that schedule but it is a bit difficult when I am a bit discombobulated myself.  The biggest issue has been that she is just so loud. This was not a problem at my parents house in the suburbs where the only people who could really get annoyed was my family or in Massachusetts when her infant cries were softer and could be easily soothed. The only logic behind tantrums are that the kid didn’t get her way about something  and the thought of being a pushover mom makes me cringe. I’m sure it will get better once she starts school and we get into a routine.

Tomorrow (or rather today) is School Day.  First we visit her preschool then it’s off to the law school so I can handle administrative stuff, buy books and hopefully get excited again about this whole thing.

Then on Friday, my dad leaves and I am all on my own. *gulp*.

Chicago Bound.

Surprise surprise, I love Chicago and I love my new school. Everyone is just so goshdarn helpful.

Wednesday was a extremely long day, but I am proud to say that I found the perfect preschool for AB, plus a great apartment thanks to the help of supercool agent Jill at Apartment People.  Our new neighborhood is Edgewater, which is true to it’s name and really close to the lake. It has two large parks nearby and is on a treelined street.  I heard birds chirping as we walked up to the building, I kid you not. It is small, but considering that it is just me and the kid, I believe it will do quite nicely. It is within my budget and it includes heat and electric. Score. Now, it is a good 30 minute train ride from school.  But, the train is right around the corner and both my school and AB’s school are blocks within a train stop, so all systems go on the transportation end of things.

I cannot wait to bring the kid to her new school. It was all that I could have hoped for and more.  They have the whole second floor of their building.  There is a security guard.  They have a chef.  They have both an indoor and outdoor playground.  There were plenty of books, toys and activities.  At the end of the day you receive a written report of what activities your child participated in, what she ate, when she slept and which of the activities she liked the best. As the director gave me the tour, she knew all of the kid’s names, as well as the parents. Very hands on.  The best thing was that all of the kids looked happy. Double score.

So far, so good.